Tuesday, October 5, 2010

no tea for me today but lots of coffee since i've been working overtime.  i feel like a ball of yarn that needs to be unravelled.  life comes at you fast, too fast these days.  i have very little time before i have to fly again, thousands of miles over the pacific, back to chile to finish some affairs. so leaving my shop assorted to, hopefully, cover some of the expenses. it will be bittersweet to return since it will be a very short trip this time around, maybe two weeks at the most.  being that it will be almost summer, i know i will want to stay longer but the budget just can't take it. although i try to stay on a postive note, transform negatives into positives, there are days when i just want to scream like liza minelli in the movie cabaret.

jose balmes painting
actually the budget is getting smaller as our economy really gets worse and worse.  i have noticed my sales going down almost 50% from last year and the year before, there are more and more of us competing to stay on top, there are more and more of us having to make major adjustments in order to make ends meet.  all the while the utilities (those necessary just to keep the wheels rolling-electricity, cable and internet) as well as food and clothing keep squeezing us tighter and tighter.  where is the change we so hoped for?  i guess it will take years and years to reverse the damage of previous presidencies.  we had it coming, we saw it coming.  what a paradoxical world we live in where we have to keep spending in order to create jobs.  the problem is our population keeps growing and sustainablity is our only option.  sustainable economics and a return to real home economics.  today was frustrating that way, pay pay pay, endlessly pay, even for my daughter's prom dress i am still paying.  please bear with me, my blog is my diary too and i can vent here even if i go back later and wipe the slate clean.


i just want to skip and hop like joanne anderson, but is there really any time left for these things as we worry over what tomorrow may bring.?  how many of us can say we do this......

i did this alot, i mean alot when my children were little
and then i had a full time job, extra curricular activities at their schools, and all the interminable chores of motherhood and wifehood.  could it be that i'm burning out or am i in denial and am already burned out.  no way, i say to myself, i have future grandchildren to welcome, hills i want to climb, mountains even, and so many unfinished art projects. 

at least i stopped for a few yesterday and managed to play my recorder 


 asi es que con este estado de animo recurro a san expedito

para que me devuelva mi equilibrio interior

well, like alexander would say, "some days are like that, even in australia"

5 comments:

maría cecilia said...

entiendo que te sientas cansada y enredada como ese ovillo de lana, te han tocado momentos muy duros que aún repercuten en ti, organizar tu casa allá y todavía tienes que venir y finiquitar la venta que ha sido tan enredada como ese ovillo.... fuerza amiga!!! aquí te espero para todo lo que pueda ayudarte...

KathyB. said...

You know, I have always thought my life pace would slow down one day, but as you said, "grandchildren..' and so many more exciting things to enjoy and experience, along with taking time to savor the sweet things and blessings of life.

I wish you well on your trip and in business, things must turn around sometime soon, don't you think?

ale said...

hola connie querida!! si, es como ese ovillo de lana...pero en algun momento encontras la puntita y se empieza a desovillar,desatas nuditos,te parece que lo tenes que cortar,pero despacito despacito lo desatas...es como vivir...y compartiendo estos momentos con nosotras que te acompañamos y que deseamos todo lo lindo y bueno para vos!! me gusta mucho la vida como slowly y en calma donde hay tiempo para la creatividad y es esa creatividad la que te ayuda a vivir y adaptarte a cualquier momento de la vida..y vos esto lo sabes rrrrreeebien !!!! muchísimos besos connie y sabes todo mi corazón!!!

Gloria said...

Ánimos Constanza, todos tenemos que seguir y el amor nos acompaña! Besos, Gloria.

sukey said...

you are sounding overwhelmed. i hope you can see light soon. be gentle to yourself.