in mexico it is called dia de los muertos, in south america dia de todos los santos. it is a day when everybody visits their loved ones at the cemetry, carrying gifts and flowers. so, unable to visit either my son's grave in santiago or my mother's resting place in isla negra (she opted to have her ashes scattered in the pacific ocean in front of pablo neruda's house) i have made an altar to both of them in the mexican tradition with ofrendas and lots of color. the arch symbolizes the passing from life to death, i assembled it with styrofoam cut in the shape of an arch and then pinning each flower around it. ofcourse, lots and lots of lit up candles at night.