Saturday, October 17, 2015

art for breakfast, lunch and dinner

pretty much what saves me together with my tiggy wiggy puppykins and a good diet. we'll leave the bad parts out.

looking back at this post, i a'int done so bad after all.
certain must-do projects get postponed i admit. i must make a photo album of my tigo and i am in love with the idea of a "pochette" lynne hoppe came up with. millions of ideas whirl through my head. 
i think i'll hush for now.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

it's been forever it seems since i wrote. i should do it often instead of thinking so much. there is to much to document about this amazing turn of events. if there ever was a time in my life when i was more in motion, dizzyly so, it is this one. to think i've only been a widow a few months and in baja a little over three months and count all the emotions i've been through, how many places and things i've seen makes me wonder how it has all fitted in that short period. 

i have spent an inordinate time with myself, re-discovering myself, re-plotting my map, finding my north. it has been confronting yet interesting. the word that prevails is strength. STRENGTH and more strength. 
so this post is mainly about me. 
how i've coped.
i play with my days, my camera still my tool of choice. i learn to accept the many truths before me, amongst tgem the fact that i too am ageing. 
i laugh, i cry, i scream, i despair, i jump, i dance, i sing, i sit, i stand, i wander, i sleep, i eat, i laugh, i cry, i rage all in succession without even knowing how i just carry on, almost instinctively, like a wounded animal. it's all ok i tell myself, it's not all ok when i have to down two shots of tequila to numb my pain, it will all be ok eventually, it suddenly is ok today, this minute, this moment. and that's all there is to it, breathe in and breathe out and allow this process to take its course.
i pamper myself with a salon treatment, foot massage and full hair conditioning. one act of self love really really helps. i continue this conversation with myself, it's all about self preservation right now. 
looking good, feeling good

and accepting the ugly parts. that's why i have made it a purpose to take many self portraits, from every angle, color, black and white and anything in between. it might seem egocentric and vain to many, look again; it is a journal of self compassion as if i were caring for a sick child or relative. 
it's all about dealing with the cards i was dealt

Monday, October 12, 2015

time flies when you're having fun

very old post that took forever to publish
she's here! if only for four days. she brightens up the house with her singing and giggles. tigo turns cartwheels and jumps sky high with her presence.
ofcourse first thing we do is hit the beach.

and then we explore a little although she says she prefers to stay home, relax, go to the pool, take a stroll with tigo.

at last, the valor to bring out my limited supply of paints and brushes and begin to "make" again. a baja genesis i call it after the exodus. 
and ofcourse, mostly inspired by what i see here, the vibrant colors, the different feel of what to live life is.
there is so much to be inspired by. i could make my own poster with all the doors i have photographed; i think i'll make that my subject of my next post.
and then there's the cosmic influence, inherited from the 100 plus indigenous peoples of mexico. so i am deep into their symbolism.
i painted such symbolism in my gradual farewell and letting go of richard who i see as metamorphosizing into a deep rooted millenary tree.
but my camera remains my tool of choice. i have stiil only touched the surface. i make it a priority to continue to explore as much as i can so i can feel more and more at home.
there is a prevalence of blue. turquoise, calypso green, mustard and orange hues, greens, bright reds.
and the elements: wood, earth,metal, water, fire, another subject i would like to spend more time on.
i spend a few hours building my nest, so different from my previous. smaller, upwards rising, overlooking the ocean where i get to watch the sunsets and witness the clearest star studded skies i've seen since the patagonia. 
i count my blessings. 

there's a dog friendly park down the hill near san antonio. tigo runs, i sit or swing as the sprinkler droplets cool me.

i run into more friends